Obituaries

Danny Chandler
B: 1973-07-10
D: 2017-12-09
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Chandler, Danny
Robyn Shelton
B: 1964-11-25
D: 2017-12-08
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Shelton, Robyn
Lucile Sprinkle
B: 1939-02-14
D: 2017-12-07
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Sprinkle, Lucile
Edna Christian
B: 1926-12-31
D: 2017-12-03
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Christian, Edna
Dale Lamberson
B: 1936-09-24
D: 2017-12-02
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Lamberson, Dale
Stephen Evans
B: 1945-09-08
D: 2017-11-28
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Evans, Stephen
Rachel Chapman
B: 1926-01-12
D: 2017-11-27
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Chapman, Rachel
Mary Adams
B: 1934-03-31
D: 2017-11-25
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Adams, Mary
Gerry Marshall
B: 1951-05-01
D: 2017-11-24
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Marshall, Gerry
Peggy Williams
B: 1933-04-25
D: 2017-11-23
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Williams, Peggy
John Edwards
B: 1949-04-12
D: 2017-11-21
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Edwards, John
Lue Silver
B: 1934-11-26
D: 2017-11-19
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Silver, Lue
Joey Metcalf
B: 1973-12-30
D: 2017-11-12
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Metcalf, Joey
Shirley Peek
B: 1940-09-29
D: 2017-11-07
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Peek, Shirley
Grace Maynor
B: 1924-03-22
D: 2017-11-06
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Maynor, Grace
Edith Zibelin
B: 1941-07-12
D: 2017-11-04
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Zibelin, Edith
Auburn Crowder
B: 1932-07-04
D: 2017-11-03
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Crowder, Auburn
Clyde Allison
B: 1946-06-15
D: 2017-10-30
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Allison, Clyde
Billy Cox
B: 1935-09-22
D: 2017-10-27
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Cox, Billy
Penelope Frisby
B: 1960-12-09
D: 2017-10-26
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Frisby, Penelope
Ronnie Goldsmith
B: 1980-08-24
D: 2017-10-21
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Goldsmith, Ronnie

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The Stages of Healing from Grief

If you Google the word 'grief,' the search engine will deliver well over 23 million results! That's an unbelievable amount of information about dealing with grief at a time when you may already feel overwhelmed by the smallest of tasks. We are here to help. While the experience of grief can be very isolating, we would like to help you take steps to counter the feelings of loneliness and disconnection. While the articles in our grief library can make a difference in your day-to-day life; should you need additional support, please don't hesitate to call us at 828-680-9963. We will do our best to ease your bereavement and, if requested, provide a referral to a local grief counselor or therapist.

No one is prepared for grief. The rush of feelings, the thoughts, anxieties, and heartache can take us by surprise and drive us to our knees. Yet, when we choose to harness that power for self-growth, amazing things can happen. Good can come from pain.

Sigmund Freud first brought up the concept of grief work in 1917, and today the idea that bereavement is purpose-driven continues.

Dealing With Grief & Bereavement? 

Dr. James Worden chose to see the work of bereavement as task-oriented:

dealing with grief infographic

Your current job is to focus your attention on achieving each of those goals. It will not occur in any logical order; each of us is different and the path we walk in the bereavement journey is not a straight one.

Dealing with grief is hard work. It takes both courage and hard work to successfully adapt to the loss of a significant person in your life.

Six Signs Along Your Journey

Dr. Stephen Joseph identifies what he calls six signposts to facilitate posttraumatic growth. He reminds readers too that "posttraumatic growth does not imply the absence of emotional distress and difficulties in living. It does imply that it is possible through the struggle to come out on the other side, stronger and more philosophical about life."

Before identifying these six signposts, Dr. Joseph reminds his readers of three very important things:

  • You are not on your own
  • Trauma is a normal and natural process
  • Growth is a journey

He also provides a fundamental rule: don't do anything you might not be able to handle now. "If you experience intense emotions, become physically upset, or begin to panic...stop." He gently reminds readers that "having a sense of personal control over your recovery is important. There might be some things you do not feel ready to handle now, but in time, as you discover new strength and develop new coping skills, this will likely change."

Taking Stock
Are you physically well? Are you getting enough sleep and eating the right foods for optimum health? Have you received the kind of medical, legal, or psychological help you need? What is your current condition: physically, spiritually, and emotionally?

Harvesting Hope
People traumatized by loss often feel hopeless. It's hard to get up in the mourning and thinking about the future sparks pessimism and negativity. Find inspiration in the stories of personal growth written by others; set goals and practice hope as you set out to achieve them.

Re-Authoring
Learn to tell your story differently. Take the victim mentality out of the story of loss you tell yourself and others and replace it with the word survivor to return to a sense of control over your life.



Identifying Change
Keeping a daily diary can help you to see the small changes within more easily. You can also track those moments when you feel at your best and identify the conditions that brought them about. Identify and nurture the positive changes in your life throughout your bereavement journey.

Valuing Change
Review these changes, identifying the ones that you'd like to continue to nurture. Personal transformation requires it. Growth is encouraged when we take time to think about what we have gained from loved ones and when we find a way to use what we have learned to give to others.

Expressing Change in Action
Express your growth in new behaviors or, more simply, put your growth into action. When you think in terms of concrete actions, it helps make the growth experienced within your bereavement real to you.


"By focusing on these six signposts," writes Dr. Joseph, "you will find that your posttraumatic growth is beginning to take root."

5 Stages of Grief

5 stages of grief
 

Sources: 
Freud, Sigmund. On the History of the Psycho-Analytic Movement Papers on Metaphyschology and Other Works.
Worden, James. Grief Counseling & Grief Therapy: A Handbook for the Mental Health Practitioner

Fleming, Stephen. The Changing Face of Grief: From 'Going On to 'On-Going''
Joseph, Stephen. What Doesn't Kill Us: the New Psychology of Posttraumatic Growth

365 Days of Healing

Grieving doesn't always end with the funeral: subscribe to our free daily grief support email program, designed to help you a little bit every day, by filling out the form below.