Ray Edward Dillingham, 84, of 41 Hillcrest Circle, passed away February 17, 2016 at his residence. Mr. Dillingham was the son of the late George Fred and Betty Caroline Maney Dillingham. Ray was known for his strong sense of humor and desire to have fun. He was known throughout his life for pulling jokes and pranks on family and friends. Family and friends remember him using water from the Ivy river to create an ice skating rink on Barnardsville highway for his friends as a child. Others remember his pranks on the work site, among friends at their work locations or while at home. Ray often spoke of Ray Culbertson, others and himself running away boys from Weaverville, Jupiter and Mars Hill who would visit Barnardsville to speak with girls. This often required the use of throwing skunks, flattening car tires, making roads temporarily impassable with brush, and other means to limit potential romantic visits. Of course similar tactics did not affect him when he went a-courting away from the Barnardsville Community.

Taking after his Grandfather and Father, he became an an avid outdoorsman at a very early age. Ray and other friends climbed and explored many prominent terrain features between Ogle Meadows, Maney Fields and Coleman Boundary during their youths. He would often leave in the morning with a piece of bacon and a slice of cornbread, only to return in the late afternoon after a day of adventure. Ray delighted in spending time in the woods, especially when we was also able to help support the family by trapping muskrat (25 cents per hide), possum (10 cents per hide), raccoon (50 cents per hide) for sale in Asheville.

His lifelong commitment to others and strong values and work ethic were reinforced daily by his family, friends and community. He was never one to allow work to wait until another day, nor to help others that needed assistance with their endeavors. He was very self reliant and protective of family, friends and those who had no one else to turn to. This did not mean that he would not slip out to the ice box to enjoy an extra sip of cold cream, apple, piece of cheese or other sweet snack when possible.

Ray never bragged upon himself, but rather allowed his work ethic and accomplishments to speak for themselves. He did however brag upon his wife, children , grand and great grandchildren whenever possible. Ray worked to support his family, but lived to talk about his family with others whenever possible. He was a very loyal and loving husband, father, friend and co-worker. He made lifelong friendships that continued regardless of the length of time between visits with friends.

His sister Sarah Tom’s first memory of Ray was after she had been stung by a bumble bee at the age of two. He removed the stinger, cared and comforted her, and stayed with her until adults arrived. During his initial enlistment in the U.S. Army, he sent home a monthly allotment to assist his mother with household expenses and always included a note asking that 25 cents be given to Sarah Tom so that she could have piano lessons.

He loved horses and became an accomplished rider. He was known for riding “Lady”, a coal black gaited quarter horse mare throughout the area. Ray also was a dog rescuer before it was fashionable. He made certain that all of the stray dogs in the community were fed.

Ray would often go into Asheville on errands for his mother, uncles and aunts by riding the daily taxi service. The extended Dillingham family owned several community stores that supported Big Ivy communities and families. While often unaccompanied, one can only imagine the opportunities a fun loving, inquisitive young man might have found.

He was always polite, respectful of his elders, well dressed and a patriot. A life long supporter of the Democratic party, he took special delight in speaking with members of the opposite party for lengths at a time. He would allow them to discuss the merits of their candidate as long as they wanted, while ensuring that his viewpoints were spoken. He always ended the conversation with a thank you and a wish that they had a good day.



Ray loved music, especially Country western, Honkey Tonk, Blue Grass and hymns, and was known as a very good singer.

He attended Dillingham Community Elementary School and Barnardsville High School. While a good student in all academic areas, he especially loved math, and used this passion well in future employment.

Ray was a very good high school basketball and baseball player, was offered a baseball scholarship to a local college after graduation. His enthusiasm for sports continued in his adult life with his children’s athletic endeavors and his support for the Atlanta Braves, and College (Duke Mens and Womens teams) & Professional (Chicago Bulls) basketball. Ray delighted in obtaining friendly wagers on Duke Basketball games from friends and family such as Ellen Pearson and Kay Floyd that involved them giving Dad Duke and extra points, sometimes after the game had been decided and the score available to Ray.

Ray was a long time NASCAR fan and was involved with local and regional stock car racing along with Jerry Miller, Mitchell West, Barnam Norton and others. While never a racer himself, Ray would always be happy to tell you who should have won the race and why.

After graduation he assisted family members by working as a truck driver, national moving company driver, Oil refinery laborer, and general work within family businesses in Texas, New Mexico, Ohio, the mid West and South East regions.

Ray was drafted into the United States Army on Feb 1st 1952 and was stationed in Korea for two tours of duty from August 1952 until January 1954 as a signalman. He was assigned to the 5th Regimental Combat Team which supported every Division deployed within Korea. He served with distinction and received a battlefield commission for his outstanding leadership on the field of battle during the Battle of the Chosin Reservoir. Only three soldiers of his unit survived this battle. He was twice wounded and received numerous U.S. Army and Korean Army & Government awards and decorations for his service.

Ray was discharged in November 1954 but re-enlisted within the US Army in October 1955. While serving as a communication team leader, section chief and platoon sergeant through the remainder of his career, Ray was frequently assigned to the Army Security Agency to assist with the communication aspects of operations across the world. These assignments allowed him to visit over 75 foreign countries and interact with cultures and people from many more. Other key assignments included serving as a Parachute School Instructor at Fort Benning, assisting in the installation of Cold-War era communications system within NORAD facilities (Cheyenne Mountain, Camp David and undisclosed locations throughout the country) and as an Instructor at the U.S. Army Signal School. He never mentioned many of these assignments until very late in his life.

On January 6th 1956, Ray married the love of his life, the late Betty Sue Tipton Dillingham. Ray would spend the next 59 years of his life with Betty and their four children and four grandchildren. Ray was utterly devoted to Betty and did his best to support her and his children to the best of his abilities. This did not mean that there were not disagreements or bumps along the road, but they remained husband and wife throughout all life’s obstacles.

During the Vietnam war, he served two and ½ tours of duty. He again served with distinction throughout this time, was again wounded and again received numerous U.S. and foreign awards and decorations. He and his team were once captured by the enemy during a patrol, but were able to escape capture prior to being transported to North Vietnam. He often remarked that the most important job he performed during this time was connecting fellow service man with their families back home via the communications systems he managed. After leaving Vietnam for the last time, Dad left the Army within one month to begin the next phase of his life.

Upon retirement from the United States Army, he was offered employment as an Electronics Signalman by Southern Railway. Family members know that his employment was guaranteed do his sister Kay’s employment within the Southern Railway regional office in Asheville. Her strong advocacy for Ray’s employment, his outstanding service record, management experience and technical skill set resulted in this employment with two weeks of separation from the Armed Forces.

He spent ten years as a signalman and lead signal man traveling the Eastern half of the United States installing and maintaining communication infrastructure for Southern. While offered supervisory positions many times, he always declined as he felt he could do more good in his current position, plus he hated administrative paperwork. Doing the job, instead of talking about the job, was always a priority. An example of his sense of community occurred while working in the Charlotte area one winter. He noticed a woman picking up scraps of wood and taking them to a cardboard/wood shack. Upon asking, he was informed that this was the only heat available for her and her family. Dad retreated, immediately emptied all his money into a box, asked his team members to do the same, and coordinated the purchase of all the firewood available for her. Prior to leaving the worksite for the last time, he paid for several additional shipments of firewood to her.

During his last ten years of employment, he served as a regional Signal Maintainer stationed in Hot Springs. He was responsible for overseeing the communications infrastructure from Marshall to Del Rio Tennessee. He quickly earned the respect and friendship of land and business owners by accomplishing the goals of Southern Railway, while understanding the concerns of others.

During his tenure as Signal Maintainer, he resumed his love for horses, and shared that love with family members and friends. He became a strong supporter of the Marshall Wagon Train organization and was often seen riding his black quarter horse “Joe”, sitting on a black and silver trimmed saddle. Family members rode an Appaloosa and Buckskin mare with him. There are many stories and photographs of Ray “Hopper” Dillingham, Ray Caldwell, Jerry Miller, Gordon Rice, Mr. Treadway and his horse drawn wagon and many others, traveling along the back roads of Madison County.

Ray and Betty built their dream house in Barnardsville in 1990 and spent the remainder of their lives establishing this new home with family and friends, while never forgetting their friends in Marshall. He is survived by daughters, Theresa Steingress, Susan Goforth (Jeff); sons, Billy Ray and Greg E. Dillingham; grandchildren, Cara Delaney and Dalton Reed Goforth, Amanda Dillingham Greene (Jonathan), Jenna Rae Steingress, great granddaughter Annsley Greene and special nieces and nephews, David and Lynn Burrell, Rebecca Burrell Wells, Joey Floyd, Gena Floyd Bass, Vincent and Jeff Tipton.

A funeral service will be held 12:00pm Tuesday, February 23, at Robbie Capps Memorial Chapel of Blue Ridge Funeral Service. Reverend’s Stanley Peek and Cindy Coleman will officiate. Burial will follow in the WNC State Veterans Cemetery, with the North Carolina National Guard Honor Guard conducting graveside rites. The family will receive friends 6:00pm – 8:00pm Monday, February 22 at Blue Ridge Funeral Service.

Online condolences may be sent to the family at www.blueridgefuneralservice.org. Donations to Habitat for Humanity are encouraged, in lieu of flowers.

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